The Hearth Defended: My opinion about this piece by Mary Eberstadt and Myrna Blythe

Mr. Sweeney had our class to read " The Hearth Defended:  A Review of Home Alone America:  The Hidden Toll of Day Care, Wonder Drugs, and other Parent Substitutes ("Marriage and Family in the New Millenium").  by Mary Eberstadt/Myrna Blythe


First, I am not ashamed to say that I often wonder if "Women's Lib" was more harmful than helpful, not only to our nation, but most importantly, to the children.  As a woman, I say this because I know that I was created very differently than a man when it comes to my nurturing spirit.  I have all these emotions and attachments to children that I think were intentionally given to me as a woman as I believe that I was created this way by a higher being.   Don't misunderstand what I am saying, because I do know some men that are very loving and more attached than the mothers, but it is much fewer in the bigger picture.
I think that raising a human being  is much more challenging than running a corporation.  The balance comes from "mothering",  that natural nurturing that oozes from our bodies whenever a child is nearby, whether it is our own or someone else.   Fathers are equally important by setting a strong example of what it means to be the "head of the household", by making sure that his family is well taken care of.   I have yet to meet a women who deep down inside, really didn't want to be loved and taken care of by a man and have the opportunity to raise a child in a way that he would be a productive member of society.  Raising a child means teaching them how to spend and save money, how to present themselves in public, making sure that they have an acceptable amount of education, teaching them how to react to emotions, making sure that hey have their spiritual needs met, etc.  How can you do this successfully when both parents are at work? 


Eberstadt describes a sick toddler, who should be home in bed, spending all day at a daycare center plaintively calling for his mommy.  She talks about parents who are unable or unwilling to miss a day at work would often dose their children with Tylenol to bring down their fevers before dropping them off at day care.  Babies need their mothers.  Look at Nature for what it is. For most breed of animals the old adage is true "Mommy's babies, Daddy's maybe's."  In other words, we usually see the female of most breads doing the nurturing until their offspring are able to sustain itself.  Why is it hard to accept that maybe we  as women were created to nurture these babies until they go out on their own.    Finding a man that is "Man enough" to allow you that precious time is a different subject for a different article.


Our collective need to drive the market for jobs also contributed to the NEED for two parents to work in order to pay the bills.  Our need to have the swankiest houses have contributed to the NEED for two parents to work to pay the bills.  " How much do we really love our children?", I ask myself sometime.  Do we love them enough to sacrifice our own personal desire to be some "big wig" in a company, whereas, when everyone goes home they don't give us a 2nd thought. Yet your babies think of you with great love and admiration AT ALL TIMES.


Just my opinion !  Later!

Marriage Still Matters

As usual, Professor Sweeney, assigned some very interesting reading which got my head spinning because I don't know where to go with my thoughts on some very controversial matters. For  this blog, I will deal with the following information submitted by Jeff Kemp and Harvey Drake, Jr that was in their piece entitled " Marriage Still Matters  to Washington's Children" inspired by the court rulings in King and Thurston counties which overturned Washington's Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). :
       "We are linking arms as Allies for Marriage and Children to appeal to the vast numbers of Washingtonians troubled by the redefinition of Marriage, as well as the decades- long decay of marriage and absence of a common-sense voice defending it.  We will work with the state Legislature to find a constitutional solution to preserve marriage as the union of one man and one woman."


The very next sentence was cleverly written after that passage "Some would have you believe this effort is an attack on gays and lesbians. "


Personally, I feel that no matter how innocently we keep saying that this is not an attack on gays and lesbians, the reality is that it is an attack on them.  Once again, we are all the sum of our parts. What makes us who we are is in our genetics,  religion, culture, values, character, and experiences. My Christian values tell me that God created a man and woman to "become many and fill the earth."  I feel that as an irresponsible Christian, I will stop there and throw out all the other portions of the Bible where it says "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and "If anyone says I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen".. 
It certainly isn't love that denies two women or two men the right to co-parent and share all the joys that comes with being a parent.  Or is it?  In order for us to judge them, we must first think ourselves superior to them.  Why don't we scream as loud when a single mother chooses to procreate and raise  children without fathers?
Love is Love, and as long as you are loving up on that child and teaching them right from wrong based on the "sum of YOUR parts", and they grow into a healthy human being knowing the true meaning of love, piety, character, compassion, etc, than we should just "Let Go and Let God!"...be the judge. 
So where do I stand on this subject?   I still don't know.

Mind Blowing Experience for this NonTransitional Student!

I am considered a non-traditional student because I didn't attend college directly out of high school.  Heck, it has been 28 years....WOW!  What I have discovered as a non-traditional student is that I appreciate the learning process more, but, it is mind blowing in that I am learning things that forces me to re-evaluate my personal values and ideas which I have had 46 years to embrace and to make my own.  My learning experience is so much different than that of my classmates of 18 -25 years old who are still molding their character, values and ideas. 
 As a Postal Union official for the last 15 years, I was always very assured and confidant because my knowledge base was remarkable.  I was like a robot, someone file a grievance, I will investigate, process and mediate and send it up to the next step because managers usually do not negotiate at Step 1 or 2.   In order to be successful, I had to know my "opponents weaknesses."  I mean it was predictable that a grievance would be "procedurally defective", or the same supervisor who lied often will predictably lie again and I will corner them on paper.  However, now that I am back in school, I am being forced to look at my weaknesses in order to rebuild my brand. 
For example, sitting in my Sociology class, I get to squirming because sometime I feel like the professor is using his position to push his conservative views on others by providing more evidence that supports his views, when I am sure there is just as much evidence out there that supports a liberal point of view.  Than I have to wake myself up and say  "There you go again, personalizing a view in a way to win the argument!" That Union Steward, and Honor Graduate of the US Marine Corps spirit in me just won't die.   In other words... I am already the "sum of all my parts", while my classmates have an edge by being "new and fresh" and less opinionated.  So just like I did in bootcamp, I find myself tearing down and rebuilding a stronger, and wiser me that would be better equipped with the ability to respect and appreciate opposing views.  Most of all I hope to take my gift to compromise when necessary to the next level.    Stay tuned!  Work in Progress!

Between the Drafts

Recently, my professor Mr. Sweeney, had the class to read "Between the Drafts" by Nancy Sommers and I not only found it to be informative, but I found it to be enlightening.  Basically, what I got out of it was that the only way to create an original composition is to not be afraid to venture from the road that is most frequently traveled. 

It is important to learn the "Academics" of writing.  However, it is most important to stay true to yourself.  Our writings are a reflection of our experiences, our moods, our education, etc.   Thus, when we write a true original, it will reflect all of these elements which makes us who we are individually. For example, as I have been working on my Religion Essay, I chose a topic that is somewhat controversial, yet, it represented me and my background and it clearly shows that my Religious background teachings definitely guided my submissions on this subject.  Everyone from time to time, grapple with the "Evolution or Creation" issue.  I was 46 as of the 15th of this month and I still have to convince myself from time to time that creation is the only acceptable answer if you call yourself a Christian. Therefore, my thesis is basically stating that carbon dating is not a an exact science, and without that exact science, there is really no real standard to determine that the Bible is  not accurate in its depiction of how and when the heavens, earth and humans were created.

 Now that I am back in school and actually listening to  my teachers this time around, especially in my Western Civilization class, I find that my experiences, and education is affecting how I write and what I choose to write about.  Before I could finish my Religion Essay, I found myself almost trading sides of my own thesis.  All I know is that when I finish it, it will reflect my true self at that time. I will rely on the statistics and the hard evidence that supports either side, but in the end, I will chose the side that mostly reflect who I am as a person.

  I will end my Blog with a quote from Nancy Sommers Essay on " Between the Drafts:

"It is in the thrill of the pull between someone else authority and our own, between submission and independence that we must discover how to define ourselves.  In the uncertainty of that struggle, we have a chance of finding the voice of our own authority.  Finding it, we can speak convincingly... at long last."

Crime and Punishement Essay Assignment

I have finally narrowed my subject down for my crime and punishment assignment, but now I am having a hard time trying to find a Title that will really capture what I am saying.  If I put the Title that my argument is leaning towards, I will definitely look like a creep because I picked a side of the argument that would challenge me the most.  So I am leaning towards "Why we should do away with the Sexual Offender Registry".  There I said  it!  Don't Judge Me!  My research and my personal journey while writing this paper made me realize that it is the laws that we need to address on how to punish sexual predators.  For every crime, there is punishment and rehabilitation.  However, for sexual predators, another tier has been added which is "the public's right to know".  Why isn't there a Registry for thieves, or Murderers?  When we continue to force these people to join these registries, aren't we in a way creating a subset of human beings that have their own laws until the day they die, or until their crime is pardoned by that jurisdiction, which is nearly impossible.   Streaking is considered a sexual crime in some states, should they be required to join a sexual offender registry?  How about when an 18 year old and a 16 year old who had consensual sex and the parents of the 16 year old want to have the 18 year old arrested for statutory rape...  Should the 18 year old be bound by the sexual predator regulations? 

There are documented cases of sexual offenders being killed by neighbors after the community discovered from the sexual offender registry that it contained the name of the deceased.   What are we as a nation doing to these people psychologically, when we don't allow them to do their time and move on to become productive members of society?  There are documented cases of people being fired after their employer finds out that they are on the sexual offender registry.  Is this fair?

As for the victims of sexual crimes, they deserve to know that a person who is insensitive enough to put them through the turmoil of violating their body, children and adults, without their consent, will be punished appropriately for their crime.  Most sexual offenders serve an average of 3.5 years of an 8 year sentence.  Shouldn't we be looking at the laws more so than the Sexual Registry?  Is the Sexual Registry Ethical?

Disrobing My Self-Centered View of the World!

I am going through a transformation in my life, whereas, I would like to see people for who they are and not for what I want them to be.   In other words, I want to stop Judging people, even though I don't think that I was doing it in a harmful way.

"JUDGING REQUIRES THAT YOU THINK YOURSELF SUPERIOR OVER THE ONE YOU JUDGE!"

There are quite a few things that made me realize that I could make my burden much lighter if I addressed this immediately.  However, I am only going to tell you about three of the motivations for my desire to be "Judgement Free"

• The book called the "The Shack" by WM Paul Young, was thought provoking.  That is where I ripped off that Judging quote above.  When I unintentionally judged someone in the past, OK, maybe I did judge some people out of pure meanness, I must have thought that I was so high and righteous enough to do so.  Maybe I was just doing it to make myself feel better as I have accused others of doing.  I generally love people, and for a living I have dedicated myself to defending people's basic rights to the best of my ability even if means being retaliated against. Yet, when someone slighted me verbally, I would say things like "they were spawned by Satan, they are just Ghetto!, he/she is a racist, that's why they are suffering cause they are reaping their Karma!"  It really wasn't my place to say these things because they weren't necessarilty true, but for some cruel reason, it made me feel better to say those things at that time. 
• The 2nd reason is because I have a relative that I love with all my heart, just like a sister.  (I am the youngest of 5 and I am only the only girl).  She goes to Church every Sunday, but she uses  God and the Bible like a weapon.  I mean she rebuke everybody because she is a "Child of God".  Anybody who curse, drink, smoke, dance a little suggestive, or don't put money in the plate when it get passed around is going straight to "hell"!  Yet she will pick up a Lottery Ticket so fast it will make your head spin.  Despite that, I still think that she is a Child of God, just as I am with all my sins because I thought that was why God sent his son to redeem us all.  
• The third reason that I need to enter the "No Judgement Zone" is because everyone has a past.  Even murderers.  That is why we are required to forgive others of their trespassing.   When I see the man outside of the liquor store begging for change, now I ask myself "What happened to this person to bring him here?"  When I see a young lady who "sleeps around", I ask "I wonder if someone took advantage of her as a child, because studies shows that molested children often grows up to be promiscuous adults?"  When I see a young man who has very feminine qualities, I ask "Is he alone in this world dealing with what is a very scary and isolating issue? Did his family abandon him just because he  decided to stay true to his feelings and emotions?  

I could go on and on.  But I won't...............! I just want to say that if this blog made you feel a little uncomfortable, it is becuase you probably need to take the "No Judgement Journey" with me.  I could use a little company, cause I don't want to be alone when I strip myself bare and see all the things about myself that I didn't see because I was too busy Judging others.